6 weeks old

We have reached 6 weeks! Along with that came a few firsts. Emma has started to smile at us and imitate our facial expressions. I can't get enough of those big gummy smiles!!! I love it. It's these little moments that I live for. 

I'm trying to get a schedule down but it's pretty challenging. Eat, play, sleep is what I'm going for but the sleep part is what I'm struggling with. She always fights her sleep. Then she gets super fussy and ends up having a meltdown.  At that point she just want to nurse for comfort. It's hArd not to just give in on that one. Especially when she is screaming so loud that I think it's possible my ear drums will burst. But I guess it just takes time and practice to get all the kinks worked out. 

So I'm starting to think Emma has a little colic. Night time has proven to be very difficult. Not every night but 4 times a week would be a good estimate. Nothing makes her stop. She gets incredibly worked up. Sometimes she screams for upwards of 4 hours straight. I have come close to mental breakdowns. I am sometimes questioning my sanity. When she finally does fall asleep my ears continue to ring. It is awful. I have talked to the dr about this but he just brushes it off as her just being a newborn. But I'm convinced there is something going on. Her schedule is this.... Eat, play for 15-20 min, scream, sleeps for 10-20 min, screams again possibly sleeps again for a few min and then screams until its time to eat again. I don't know what to do. I'm going to call the dr tomorrow and say something needs to be done. And that I'm not just exaggerating. 

Marks mom came out to see Emma this past week. She was able to take in the sights of New York as well. Hopefully Emma's screaming didn't make her go crazy. 

Well it took me 3 days to write this tiny post. I'm just so exhausted. I'll try to post an update after I bring her to the dr. 

Here are some pictures. 

1 month old

Wow! Where has the time gone?!? I can't believe she is already one month old. Seems like yesterday we were leaving the hospital. 

Well these past two weeks have been fun. She is more awake during the day now. She just looks around all bright eyed. Doesn't really focus or track things but she enjoys looking at whatever her eyes land on. Nights are sometimes hard. She has been getting stomach aches and bad gas in the evenings. She just screams. I feel so bad for her. We have gas drops we give her but they don't always work. I'm almost positive it's because she's not a good burper. I can burp her for an hour and get nothing. I've tried stopping a few times during the feedings but it still doesn't help. Not sure what I should do about this but I plan on asking the doc this week. 

Breastfeeding is going great. I sometimes wish I wasn't exclusively breastfeeding just so I could catch a break but I know it's good for her. She doesn't take well to bottles or pacifiers. She just wants to nurse. Oh well, I should be thankful that I can breastfeed. 

My parents came in town for the week. They leave on Monday. It's been so much fun seeing them hold Emma and Emma just loves all the attention. They have been a big help with house work to. It's really nice to be able to relax and not worry about laundry and dishes all the time. My mom cut and highlighted my hair while she was here. It is short! I like it though. Much easier to take care of. 

Mark left for the weekend to St. Louis to be in a friends wedding. It's hard not having him here but things are going well. I can't wait to have him back though. 

As for me. I'm doing good. I'm often tired during the day but can't seem to nap well. My brain just doesn't allow me to nap. I have kinda stalled on the weight loss front. I have lost 30 pounds so far. I plan on starting to tone in a few weeks after my appointment with my OB. 

Nothing else really new around here. Here are some pics from the past few weeks. Enjoy!

2 Weeks

All the days kinda run together these days. Week two has been a lot smoother but still hectic. I learn something new about being a mom everyday. 

Emma has hit a growth spurt I think. For the past 3 days she has been nursing hourly during the day and every 2-3 at night. It seems like after I finish nursing and changing her we start over again. I kinda feel a little like a dairy cow. Luckily these spurts don't last but a few days. So hopefully tonight we will start sleeping a little longer between feedings. 

At her last appointment she weighed 7lbs 11 ounces. And he said she is progressing well. Her cold that she got from me is gone for the most part. Just a little snot here and there. So that's good. We were doing sessions in the bathroom with steam. That seemed to help a lot. Along with frequent feedings and nose suctioning. 

Mark started back at work today. So far so good. I actually got some housework done. Not much but hey at this point going to the bathroom is an accomplishment for me lol. It's hard without him here to hold her while I eat or shower. I'm guessing that I will start taking showers at night now. 

My parents are coming in town this weekend. I'm excited to have them come. This kid is gunna be so spoiled with hugs and kisses by the time they leave! My dad hasn't seen her yet. My mom came in town for the birth so this will be her second time seeing her.

I have lost a total of 30 pounds since Emma's birth. I only had to lose 5 to get to pre pregnancy weight. I actually weigh less than I did on my wedding day. Now I need to start toning this flab!!! I can't wait to start on that!

Not much else is going on. Just eating sleeping and pooping, lol. I feel so blessed to have this beautiful little girl. Everyday I fall more and more in love with her. And everyday she does something new. I'm so excited for the weeks to come as she starts interacting with us. 

Hope you all have a blessed week!

I leave you with some pictures.....

First week!

Our first week home was a learning experience for all of us! The first few nights were the hardest. We have a better routine down now. I have found that all the googling in the world can tell you how to be a mom or dad. You simply have to reach deep down inside yourself and go with your gut instinct first. Once I stopped doing that I was able to focus in on her ques. I am able to distinguish now what she wants most the time. She has a distinct cry for when she's hungry and a VERY distinct cry for when she's pissed. We call that one the pterodactyl cry! So my advice to new moms on their first days home is listen to your gut. Don't stress yourself out by listening to google. Watch and listen to your baby, that's how you will learn the most. 

We suspect that Emma has a little bit of acid reflux going on. Once we started keeping her more upright during the day we saw a difference. She doesn't have very many I'm in pain crying sessions now. Thank goodness, cause all she would want to do when she was in pain was nurse. The milk calmed down the acid and comforted her at the same time. This was extremely hard on me at night. I was sleep deprived on top of being crazy emotional. 

Her jaundice is almost completely cleared up now. I can still see a little yellow in her eyes though. So I try to take her outside for a few min each day. 

As for me, I'm doing good. I had very bad anxiety this past week. I'm feeling better though as each day passes. I get this overwhelming feeling that rushes over me and I start to cry and/or sweat and my heart starts to race. It's an awful feeling. At those moments all I want is to hold my baby or be held by my husband. Being alone also gets to me. For the most part though it has calmed down significantly. My recovery down there....... Is going well to, just in case you wanted to know! Lol I have lost a total of 26 lbs! I weigh less than I did on my wedding day actually. I was only 4lbs above my pre pregnancy weight at the end of my pregnancy. I lost almost 10lbs in my first trimester so I only gained 14 lbs while pregnant. If I lost 10more pounds and toned up a little I would be very happy! 

This is marks last week home with me. :( I am so glad and thankful that he was able to take 2 weeks off. He has really stepped it up on the home front to. All I have to do is baby stuff usually. I kinda feel like I'm a milk factory! Not sure how I will be able to get everything done when he goes back. Oh well we will make it. Emma loves her swing so that helps a lot. I'll be able to get a little done when she is napping in there. 

Nursing is going very well! I am making more than enough milk. I could provably feed triplets with amount I make, haha! We sometimes have a few problems with latching but it's getting better. I'm a little sore from that. The hardest part is getting her to stay on in the beginning. Once she does though she eats! She is a porker lol. 

The dogs are taking to her well. Dakota is up with me at night. If I move, he moves. If she crystal he is right there wondering what's wrong. He is a great big brother. Izzy is also very good with her. They snuggle together often. She has also stepped up on the guard dog aspect. She growls at the slightest sounds outside. It's kinda cute. :)

Well that's all I have for now! Have a good week

Birth story

Well it all started on Friday afternoon. I went to the bathroom and when I got back up I felt like I peed myself. I thought hmmm that's strange. Then it happened again and again! Then click!!! My water broke!!!!!! I had prepared myself for this moment and for some reason I had no idea what to do. So I called mark and told him to head home cause we are having a baby! I then called my dr and they said to head up to labor and delivery. This all happened around 2pm. 

When mark got home I had pretty much everything ready to go. I just had to grab a few last minute things. So we packed up the dogs and dropped them off at the kennel. Then we were off to the hospital!! On our way there I had a few contractions but my main problem was leaking! It was awful. That shit doesn't stop coming out throughout the entire process. 

They put me in the triage room to monitor me and that's when the big contractions started. They then decided to move me to my own room. Once there things got intense. I tried the shower and birthing ball. Mark rubbed my back but the pain was just to much to handle. So I asked for the epideral. At that point my contractions were 2-3 min apart. At around 8:30 I got my epideral. Let me just say that it really isn't bad! I was so scared about it but it was nothing compared to the pain I was in at that moment. The iv hurt more than that. About an hour later I started having pain again and it kept getting worse with each contraction. So they called the anesthesiologist back in and decided to take it out and start over again! It worked that time. 

On a side note I have been very sick with a bad cough sore throat and congestion for almost a week up until delivery. So I was also coughing like crazy and couldn't rest at all even after the epideral because I was miserable with congestion and coughing. 

I was in labor for 20 hours! When it was time to start pushing I was feeling so tired and nauseated. But I pushed and pushed and pushed! It was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I said a few times that I couldn't do it anymore but my dr assured me I could and mark stood by my head and encouraged me to keep pushing. And just when I thought I was going to die from the pain she finally came out!  I tore in two places but no scalpel! 

She was beautiful! We both cried and mark held her first. She barely cried. In those moments my life changed forever. My heart was filled with unconditional love for this little baby.

I had a lot of hemorrhaging so they gave me something pitocin to help stop it. But other than that I was ok and glad that the pain was finally gone. I just wanted to hold my baby. 

So that's Emma's birth story. She was worth every second. 

We had to stay one extra day because Emma developed jaundice. She went under the lights for one night and that did the trick. We were released on Tuesday afternoon. Unfortunately we couldn't go straight home. We had to stop by urgent care for me because I was so sick and I still don't have a primary care dr. I was diagnosed with an ear infection and an upper respitory infection. They gave me antibiotics and I'm finally starting to feel better. 

Breastfeeding is going well. She sometimes doesn't latch well and it hurts like hell! We need to work on it but every time I do she gets so frustrated that I usually deal with the pain. 

Well that's all for now! We did a mini photo shoot today so I'll leave you with some of those pics and a few others. 

She's here!!!

I will be posting a birth story post later in the week. For now here are some pictures of our sweet baby Emma Lynn!!

39 weeks

I have come to the conclusion that Emma is going to have to be forced out. I will most likely go to term plus! Both Her mommy and daddy are stubborn people and I think she may have inherited it. She is gunna come on her terms. 

My back feels like its on fire most days. Sleep.... What's that? By the time I get comfortable I have to pee again. My fingers are swollen and feel as if they were put through a meat grinder in the mornings. There is a lot more I could complain about but I won't. I feel bad for being so negative but I'm just so uncomfortable and I'm sure I sound like a broken record to Mark. That poor guy has enough to worry about right now. So this blog is kinda my place to vent. I'll stop now though. 

Some friends from San Diego were in town this past week. She had her daughter 2 months ago. It was great seeing them. We walked the mall and caught up on gossip. Our husbands went to the apple store and played in there. Lol, they wouldn't have had any fun hearing about what we had to say. We had fun and I enjoyed some wetzles pretzels! :)

On Sunday Mark and I decided to take a trip down to time square and china town. I figured walking could only do me good at this point. I rode the subway for the first time! I was surprised at how many people offered their seat to me. There are some nice New Yorkers out there after all! We got some foot reflexology done in Chinatown. It felt awesome. I was hoping I would get a few contractions but I didn't. We had a good time and I'm glad we got to get out and see some of the city before Emma comes. 

Had my check up today. 1 1/2cm and 80% effaced! She is at -1 station. She did a membrane sweep to try and get labor started. It wasnt that painful actually. I have a little cramping going on but nothing to write home about. She said if its gunna work it will start labor tonight or tomorrow. So im hoping that contractions start soon! Dr said she is getting big and wants to do an ultrasound on Wednesday next week to see how big she is if still no labor. Then we will talk induction. I'm hopeful the membrane sweep works and I don't have to be induced. Time will tell I guess. Maybe my next post will be pictures of our sweet little girl! Fingers crossed!