Just being me

 I am not a perfect mother or woman.  I do not eat enough fruits and veggies (for a nursing mom). I let her cry for more than 5 min sometimes. Sometime I just have to put her in the pack n play and take a step outside. My laundry hamper is almost always full. I often forget a load in the washer overnight. My carpets desperately need to see the long lost vacuum. I found a few grapes under the chair the other day. Had to be a few weeks old. I often just sit my ass down on the couch while Emma naps and do nothing. My bathrooms need some scrub and bubbles (by the way, they don't scrub so you don't have to. That's a bunch of crap. False advertising if you ask me.) I have fallen asleep while nursing, burping, pumping, going to the bathroom and pretty much during everything else to. I have let Emma sleep in our bed. I nurse her to sleep most nights. I don't always follow the 2 day bath rule for Emma (that's my own rule to, smh). Who am I kidding, I don't follow that rule for myself most the time haha.  My dogs don't always get fresh water every day. My husband gets a cranky wife most days just because I need to vent to someone........... I guess what I'm trying to say here is I am just me. I'm no mother Theresa or Betty Crocker.  I make a lot of mistakes and I am sometimes selfish. But I am true to myself. I tell ya how it is and I don't sugarcoat shit.  I think that's what make me me. You love me or hate me. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. 

No matter what pressure you have on you. Or who tells you what is best for you. Just be you! Go with your gut. You have all the answers you need there. No googling, books, other moms or even your own mom will have the "right" answers. Only you. So it's ok if your house is a mess, your kids run around screaming in stores, you don't eat fruits and veggies, or if you sometimes just lay like broccoli on the sofa. Do what you need to do. It will be ok!  Just be you. Stay True. 

That is all. Just felt the urge to write. :)

Where has the time gone?

Wow! I can't believe that I haven't posted anything in such a long time. I don't know where to start really. Things have been very busy around here lately. I'll just jump right in I guess. 

For Halloween mark and I were able to go to St. Louis and be with our families for the week. So greatful for this. Emma was able to finally meet everyone. For Halloween my mom and I drove to Kansas City to see my sister and the twins. Emma was an elephant! She was really cute!

My family came here to New York for thanksgiving. It was awesome they could come. It was a lot of fun! The house was full of laughter and babies!this was our first thanksgiving without my grandma so it was hard. But I made the turkey and my mom and sister made everything else. My first turkey came out Great! I was very pleased with myself :) I must say it's a very gross process getting that bird ready though. Lol It was a great thanksgiving!

Emma's reflux is still a huge problem. She doesn't spit up but she is constantly in pain and screaming. I put her on the solutab instead of the compound prevacid and it seems to help and she loves the taste. She hated the compound. She would spit it back in my face and choke on it. Awful I tell you. I have her in her crib tucker sling now. She is no longer in our room! The tucker sling hasn't done a lot of help I don't think with the reflux. I hope that soon it gets better and we can move past this and on to happier times. 

As far as sleeping....... For the past 3 nights now she has slept through the night. Bed time is 7:30 and she goes until about 4:30 without waking. Then I feed her and she goes back to sleep until 8am. Before now she was up every 3-4 hours wanting to sleep. I was loosing it. I have raccoon eyes to show for it, lol. I just hope she continues to sleep for us. I am so much more usefull when I have sleep. 

Last week I started her on cereal. At first due didn't know what to do with it and would just let it fall out of her mouth, haha. It was incredibly funny. She then started slurping it. Now she can't wait for it to get to her mouth. She opens her mouth and let's out a squeal if I'm not going fast enough. We tried peas and sweet potatoes but I don't think she is ready for that yet. She was up all night with what I think was a stomach ache. I'll hold off for now on that. Let her master cereal. 

Emma's 4 month appointment was 2 days ago. Here are her stats..... 14 pounds 12 ounces (75th percentile), 26 inches long (95th percentile) BIG GIRL, her head was 16 inch (50th percentile). The doctor said she looked like a 6 month old she is so long. The kid is in 6 month onesies already and in a size 3 diaper already! She needs a little physical therapy for something called torticollis. Her head leans to the right a little. So hopefully a little therapy will help it. She screamed bloody murder when she got her shots. Poor girl! The second I picked her up though she was happy. A mothers touch I guess ;)  

She is incredibly close to sitting by herself. She can do it for a few seconds but then either leans forward or falls to the side. She has rolled over 2 times. The first time was a fluke at 2 months I think. The other one was about a week ago but hasn't done it since. 

Well, Im sure I'm leaving out a lot but I just can't remember. Hopefully now that I'm getting a little more sleep I'll be able to post a little more. We will be going to St. Louis for Christmas. I'm really excited. I got her a few rally cute outfits. :)

Hope everyone is doing well

Stylin!

Cutest elephant ever. 

Cousins Grace and Sophia

3 months

3 months old here

I need butter for those rolls

First time with Santa

Peas and sweet potato fail! She wouldn't even keep the peas in her mouth. So I switched to sweet potatoes 

4 months old

Early Christmas present from Mimi and Pappy!

Merry Christmas!!!