Sensory processing disorder

We went to Emma's evaluation yesterday with the speech therapist. We are going again next week for another evaluation with the occupational therapist. It's my understanding that Emma most likely has sensory processing disorder which in turn is delaying her speech. Here is a link for more information on this disorder http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/sensory-processing-disorder. Basically it's a condition where the signals in the brain aren't connecting and in turn are having trouble Recieving and responding to information recieved from the senses. 1 in 20 children are affected by this and it is treatable.  Especially if caught early this will probably not affect her life in a huge way. 

I have to admit that yesterday I didn't take this very well. Of course the first thing that crossed my mind was what did I do or what didn't I do for this to happen. With further research I discovered that this can be hereditary. Both myself and my husband had some learning disabilities growing up and after reading the signs I believe this is what I had. Back then though it was often misdiagnosed. This was a little of a relief knowing that it wasn't anything that I did. It's just something that happens due To family history. 

After getting home I researched and researched and talked with a dear friend who has s daughter going through the same issue. She helped me a lot and made me feel better. There are state programs that help with this and offer it at no cost. I plan on going to this place recommend by my dr and is covered by my insurance. But insurance only covers 60 visits. So I'll also be doing the state program. I have started the process with them already and have our first visit next Thursday. The really nice thing about the state program is that they come to your house for the therapy. This will make it much easier on us since we will be going to therapy twice a week already at the other place. 

All in all yesterday was a little stressful for me as a mom. I'm feeling much better today about it though. I just don't want my daughter to ever have to struggle in her life. I think that's the hardest part because I see her frustration with not being able to communicate with us. I can usually understand what she is trying to tell me by her gestures but other times I have no clue. She gets very upset when she can't do something or can't get something to work. Like trying to get the blocks in the right hole. She gets very discouraged and starts whining. It kills me to see this. I just want her to be a happy kid. 

Hopefully we will start to see some improvements with these therapies. I imagine that because she is only 18 months we will. They are like sponges at this age. She just needs help connecting those wires in her brain. 

Last night I rocked her to sleep and just kept rocking. I just wanted to hold her. She was so cute. 

These are the moments I live for!