San Diego zoo

Today we went to the zoo with marks mom Kathy. It was a little hot but all in all a fun day! The picture with the monkey and the ice cube is one of the best! I would throw one to him and he would catch them. The giraffes were also one of my favorite parts of the day. They are my favorite type of animal!! :) Enjoy the pics!

I'm an aunt!!!!

Last night my sister gave birth to twin girls Sophia and Grace. They are beautiful I can't wait to spoil them rotten!!! Congrats Jenny and kris!

Update

We have a total of 8 embryos frozen!!!! Of the 7 morulas yesterday 3 continued to grow to blastocysts. We are very hopeful that a we will get a few take home babies from these!

Snow babies!!!

The embryologist called with our updated report. Out of the 19 that fertilized 5 arrested (died). We have 1 expanded blastocyst in good quality and 4 fair quality blastocysts that we are freezing today (snow babies). 2 very poor blasts will be discarded along with the arrested ones. There is 1 blast that they considered borderline and have decided to wait until tomorrow to see if it improves. If not it will be discarded. The remaining 7 embryos are at the morula stage so we will know tomorrow if they made it to blastocyst stage or not and what quality they are. If they are good or fair quality we will freeze them as well.

Wow that's confusing, hu? Looks like we were really blessed to have this many good ones.

As for how I'm feeling, ok I guess. My abdomen is really extended and I am having lots of sharp pains. My lower back is hurting pretty bad as well. I'm not throwing up any more though! I am hoping that by the weekend I am feeling a little better. November can't come soon enough!

Not so good news

I guess I should start off by saying I have been fibbing a little. My doctor decided that we could do a fresh transfer instead of freezing them for a few cycles. We were so excited and decided that we would keep it a secret and hopefully surprise everyone in a few weeks!

I knew it was to good to be true! Yesterday I started feeling pretty bad and became a little worried. I was very dizzy and lightheaded every time I got up. My stomach had also started to become a little more extended (I know I'm not tiny to begin with but I could tell and so could mark). I decided to try and take a shower and see if that helped....... Defiantly not better. I almost passed out and ended up vomiting (yes in the shower). I called my nurse shortly after and told her. She said that it sounded like I had classic signs of OHSS and that I should take it easy.

I went in this morning so the doc could check me out and make sure we were good for the transfer tomorrow. He did a ultrasound and found that I have a lot of fluid built up behind and in front of my uterus. :( my ovaries were also measuring triple+ in size. So he canceled my fresh transfer. I am to stop all my meds and wait for 2 cycles. That brings us to a November transfer. I have to admit I am very disappointed. It seems like forever away! At least I get a little break from all the meds. I guess this is for the better. Hopefully this helps our chances of getting pregnant. The healthier I am the better!

The dark black parts of the ultra sound is fluid that has built up!

Good News!

We got a call from the embryologist today with our fertilization report. We had 34 eggs in total. 26 ended up being mature. Of the 26, 20 fertilized. One fertilized abnormally so we have a total of 19 embryos!!!!!!!! We are so blessed! We won't know how many make it to freeze until Wednesday. We are praying for a great number.

As for me I feel pretty good. A little crampy at times but good. I'm just trying to keep the hyper stimulation under control. Lots of Gatorade, water and high protein foods.

Now we have the waiting game! I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for all the support.

Retrieval Day!

I barely slept at all last night because I was thinking of everything that could go wrong and a whole lot of other crap. I came up with some crazy scenarios. Im glad I got to have a little nap during my procedure!

The egg retrieval went great. Doc said i did great! We had 34 eggs in total! 20 of them are definitely mature, 10 are intermediate meaning they might be mature and 4 were not mature. We are beyond satisfied with these results!!! The embryologist will be calling us tomorrow between 1-4pm to let us know how many of them fertilized.

I was feeling super bloated this morning before we went (I guess we know why now!) so I'm glad all those eggs are out of me! I'm really tired right now so I'll probably go take a short nap in a bit. My doctor put me on a medicine called dostinex to help reduce the chance of OHSS. I'm supposed to drink lots of water and gatorade as well as stay away from sugar and simple carbs. I really hope I don't end up with getting it. Fingers crossed!

Here are some pictures before and after retrieval. Obviously not my best picture. The ones in the middle are while I was in recovery.

Trigger!

I went in today for my 3rd ultrasound appointment. Dr Garzo said it looks like we are ready! I had lots of follies on both ovaries. I trigger tonight and have my egg retrieval on Friday morning! It's hard to believe how fast this past week has gone by. Mark and I are super excited and can't wait to hear how many mature eggs we get. Fortunately I get the day off tomorrow from shots and blood draws. That will be very nice for a change.
Anyway that's all I have for now! I will let you know on Friday how things go.

Here are some pictures of some of my follicles!

Water works!

And the crying starts! Watching tv has become somewhat interesting. I have found myself tearing up on commercials and shows that are not sad in any aspect!! I'm guess this is normal; crazy but normal. As far as how I'm feeling physically, not so good. I feel like I have the flu. My body aches and hurts all over. Not to mention I can barely button my jeans because I'm so bloated. I started feeling bad saturday and it doesn't look like its going get better any time soon. I won't even get started on the hot flashes. Let's just say I find myself stripping my clothes off several times a day because I feel like I may burst into flames!

In other news..... I had my second ultrasound today. All looks good so far. I had a total of 10-15 follicles. The largest one measured at 15mm. The doc says we are almost there. I started ganirelix today. That is to keep me from ovulating before the retrieval. My E2 was a whopping 948!! That's good from what I'm told. (For each mature egg your E2 is 200 at time of retrieval) I go back in tomorrow for blood work and then Wednesday I will have my 3rd ultrasound. He thinks by then I may be ready to trigger!! Super excited!

Mark and I went to the Chargers game this weekend. It was way to hot for a hormonal girl like me for sure. Mark had fun though. I was sweating very very very bad! It was awful. We left at half time.

On a side note, my sisters twins have not arrived yet! We are anxiously awaiting for them!

Is It HOT In Here?

Nope, it's just me!!! Wowzers, I knew I would probably have some side effects but man....... I feel like I'm in a freakin sauna one minute then freezing and getting cold sweats the next! AND this is only the beginning. I'm also really tired today. Not sure if that's a side effect or not.

Last night I did my second round of shots. It went fine. I have designated the follistim injection to Mark. At first I thought he just wanted to be a part of the whole process; but last night I realized he just wants to stick me! He looked a little to excited about it. He was like " can I do it now? How bout now? You ready?" geez!!!! Oh well if he wants to do it he can. I struggle to get the nerve to do it anyway.

This morning I went in for blood work. The nurse just called and said my E2 level was 141. A good starting place she said. They are keeping me on my current dose of meds for the time being. I go back every morning for blood draws and possible ultrasounds.

First night of injections!

I just finished my first night of injections! Mark actually gave me one of the shots! I was so nervous that it would hurt but it wasn't that bad. The menopur kinda stung but the follistim was fine. I told mark that this little nugget better appreciate what I'm doing for him/her!! I kept psyching myself out. I would go to stick it in and then would stop. I did this 3-4 times before I actually gave myself the shot. I'm such a baby! Haha

Anyway that's all I got for now. I go in on Friday for b/w to see how I'm responding.

Let The Games Begin!

Today was my appointment for injection training blood work and a ultrasound. I don't have any cysts and everything looks good. I had 15 antral follicles on my right and 17 on my left. I hope they all produce an egg! Tomorrow night is my first night of stims! I picked up all my meds today and I'm ready to go. I start taking 150iu of follistim and 75iu of menopur. I will add in ganirelix in a few days. I go back on Friday for blood work. Oh man, here we go!!!! Let the hormones fly! Haha poor mark!

Home Again

I just got back from my trip to Kansas and St Louis last night! Although it was a blast, I'm glad to be home.

Things are about to get crazy!! Today is my last day of bcp's Yay!!!!!!! I have my appointment set for tuesday at 10am to have an u/s and bw. She will also do injection training then. My meds have all been ordered and should be ready for pick up in a few days as well. I hope everything looks good and we get the all clear for take off signal!

A random touching poem

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~Author Unknown

Kansas city!

Although getting here was a little difficult, I have had a good time visiting my sis and her growing belly! My first flight was delayed 2 hours and then I missed my lay over flight. So I ended up sitting at Phoenix airport for 4 hours. Not fun! But I'm hear now!! Today we put some finishing touches on the babies bathroom with some cute stickers on the wall of owls and flowers. Looks like she is ready for the twins. The room is super cute.

My mom and dad are coming out today for a few days and then we will be driving back to St. Louis so I can visit with some more family and some friends. The trip has definitely helped keep my mind off of the IVF, which I am very thankful for.

I'm not going to lie, I am still really anxious to get going. But thankfully it's only a week away before things start to actually happen! Yay

Have a great weekend!