Quick update

Today I went back to work for the first time since my transfer. It went good. I think I may have lifted I few things I shouldn't have. But I'm not gunna do that again. I'm going to swallow my pride and ask for help from now on. As far as how I'm feeling, ok I guess. I have had lots of cramps and pains. Some even in my lower back. Lets hope that this is a good sign. Maybe implantation?!?!? We shall see. I'm counting down the days till my beta. 8 days left!! Still not sure if I will test early or not. It is for sure on my mind though ::evil grin::!!!!!! I have been following this chart that tells you what is happening each day after your transfer. Here it is.....

•1daypost5daytransfer- Blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
•2dp5dt- Blastocyst continues to hatch and begins to attach itself to the uterus.
•3dp5dt- Blastocyst attaches deeper into uterine lining, beginning implantation
•4dp5dt- Implantation continues.
•5dp5dt- implantation is complete. Cells that will eventually become the placenta and the fetus have begun to develop.
•6dp5dt- HCG begins to enter bloodstream.
•7dp5dt- fetal development continues and hcg continues to be secreted.
•8dp5dt- levels of hcg are high enough to be detected on a pregnancy test.

I am currently starting day 4. I think it's pretty cool. Hopefully the implantation is the pains and cramps I'm feeling. Fingers crossed!!!!!

Obsessing and Christmas

Not gunna lie, I kinda like this bed rest thing! I get to boss around the hubby a little! Im waiting for him to realize that some of the things I'm asking him to do, is stuff that i am completely capable of doing! haha poor guy! Ahh well, it won't kill him to wait on me for the rest of the day (he took the rest of the week off).

I am a little bored but I find myself googling most the time. I bought the first twilight book but I find that my mind is more interested in my uterus :) Hopefully these next 9 days fly by.

My next dilemma is if I should POAS! There are so many women that do it to early and get negatives when they actually are pregnant. Then there are a lot of women that find out that they are pregnant early!!!!! There are positives and negatives to POAS! One major problem is usually once you start you can't stop. You obsess over it day in and day out. Thinking only of that pee stick that waits for you under the sink! It calls your name at the grocery store and every single time nature calls. I have a big decision ahead of me. Then if I decide to do it when should I start!?! 6,7,8dp5dt?? Oh man, I think I may be going a little nutzo! I will say that even if I do decide to do it I won't be posting the results until our beta on December 7th. Sorry, I have been very open with a lot of people I think I want one thing to myself. :)

It's hard to believe that Christmas is only 27 days away!! But who's counting, right? Mark and I are so excited to fly back to STL to see our families. I will actually be flying into Kansas City first to have Christmas with my sister and the new twins on Thursday December 20th! It would be really difficult for her to travel right now with them. So we are bringing Christmas to them! My mom and Dad will be meeting me there and we will stay for the weekend then drive to STL on Monday I think. I haven't seen them yet so I am soooooo excited to hold them and love on them! After KC we will have Christmas with Marks side of the family on Christmas Eve morning. Then we will have Christmas with my side that evening. I am praying that we have a very special announcement to make! If all works out i will be 6-7 weeks around that time. Fingers crossed! We will fly back to San Diego on the 28th.

In other news, Mark and I were invited to the Lakers game on Sunday. All the directors were offered tickets to a suite!!! Really excited to go. I have never been a real big basketball fan but I can learn to love it! I'm more of a baseball girl. It's a 2 hour drive there and back so hopefully Dakota will be ok for like 8 hours. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Well folks, that's all I got for today. Here are some pics of my new nieces. Soooooo cute!

Grace and Sophia!

Cookie Monster

Today is 1dp5dt! I am hoping our little nugget is snuggling in just fine. I had a little coughing spill this morning that freaked me out. I know I sound a little crazy but I was nervous that I was jolting him/her around in there! Poor nugget was probably thinking there was an earthquake or something! I'm sure everything is fine but I can't help but worry.

I'm feeling great. I have had a few cramps here and there. Who knows what that means but of course I resorted to Dr. Google about it. Lol no results really from that. I think I just need to try and relax and think positive.

One side effect from all the progesterone and estrogen I have in my system, is HUNGER! I'm always hungry. I could eat a full meal and be hungry 20 min later. I feel a little like the Cookie Monster :-/ Mark was nice and set up the coffee table with lots of goodies for me this morning! Good thing cause I'm starving, hahaha! Oh, I also have been snaking on my pineapple. It's supposed to contain something to help with implantation. Who knows if its true or not but ill try it.

Dakota (my pup) has been enjoying bed rest as well. He has been under my blanket for most of the day. I am getting a little antsy but I would sit here for weeks if I had to. I have been watching some movies and reading twilight most of the time. I'm also on google searching stupid stuff and going on a forum that I'm addicted to. It has made this journey a little easier being able to talk to women going through the same thing as me. They are very inspiring and always there to cheer you up. A lot of them have already gotten their BFP this month! I'm one of the last of the month to do their transfer. Well that's what my day consists of. Tomorrow will be much of the same.

I'm sure ill be checking back in tomorrow!

My buffet!

Very suiting

My cozy pup Dakota!

PUPO!

We are officially PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)!!!! The transfer went well. We had one small issue of my bladder being to full, then not full enough. So we had to wait a little longer. After that though things went smooth. The embryologist talked to us about our embryo and the way it was graded. We had a good blastocyst. They go from good, fair, borderline and then poor. So we had a great embie!!!!! They let Mark look at our little guy/gal under a microscope before the transfer. He said "it looked like a circle with some stuff in the middle!" Typical male response, lol. Then they prepped me (I'll leave those details out), your welcome :) after that they did the transfer! Mark even took video of iron his phone. Haha! They gave us a picture of the little one all tucked in comfy in my uterus! The doc left and I was rolled into another room to rest for 30 minutes. When my time was up The nurse gave me discharge papers and we were on our way home.

We made a pit stop for Mexican food on the way! It was yummy :). I am now resting on the couch with Dakota.

Our pregnancy test is set for December 7th at 7:40am! Until then I'm just going to assume I'm pregnant and try to stay positive.

Here are a few pics that we took to document the day!

Our embryo in its incubator

Before transfer

Before transfer

Our embryo inside me!

T-DAY!!

Today's the day! I'm headed to work in a few minutes. I get off at 12:30 and we are to be at the clinic at 2pm. Transfer is at 3pm PST!! Wish us luck. I'll update tonight when we get back.

3 1/2 days!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! There was lots to be thankful for. Mark and I hosted our first holiday ever!!!!!! It was great. Granted no family was here :( but we made do. We did FaceTime with almost everyone in our close family. So that was nice to at least be able to talk that way. I love technology! Anyway, we had some friends over for the day. I picked up a honey baked ham yesterday and made sweet potatoes with a brown sugar glaze, corn, salad, bacon mashed potatoes, rolls, stuffing and of course pumpkin pie! I didn't make that one but it was awesome! All in all it was almost like being home. I am super pooped now (yet I still blog at 11:30pm, go figure!). There was lots of drinking and I'm not going to lie I did have a few as well! I'm not pregnant yet! Good day all around.

I can't believe that t-day is only 3 1/2 days away! I started all my meds yesterday. Including that nasty PIO (progestrone in oil injections). Those suck, I'm not joking. My butt is sore and bruised. I have got lots more of those so I better get used to it.

I hope everyone enjoyed their turkey day and didn't rip any pants haha! I came close I think. Had to change into sweats the second the last person left. Lol

7 days and counting

Today I went for my progesterone check. Everything looked great and now we have a definite countdown to T-Day (transfer day). I asked the doc about my reaction to the estrogen patches. He said that yes I was having an allergic reaction to it. He asked if I could stick it out a little longer because he didn't want to change something that was working good! I said of course I can! I could probably be in the most pain I have ever been in and still say I'm good, haha! I'll do anything short of selling my soul to have a baby!!!!!

In other news I wanted to take a moment to say what I'm thankful for given the fact it's almost turkey day. First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who has followed along with me in this incredibly difficult time in Mark and I's life. We could not be more blessed than we already are. Second I want to say that no matter what this cycle brings I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to actually try ivf. A year ago it seemed impossible but with a little hard work we made it. And third I am so thankful that God has brought me to the place I am today. I have been through some tough life experiences but I truly believe that God and my family are the reason I am who I am today! Lots of love to my family for the years of support.

Here is a list of some little random things I'm thankful for!
1) My fur babies
2) Chocolate
3) My new found love of Twilight (team Edward all the way)!
4) Infertiles like me
5) relaxing Sundays at home with the hubby
6) Pepsi
7) fireplaces
8) kittens at the pet store
9) Christmas movies
10) Giraffes
.................hmmmmm that's all I can think of right now. Oh wait, I am really thankful for being able to go home to STL for Christmas with the family!

Ok I'm going to bed. I'm starting to ramble!

Oh I wanted to say congrats to Melanie, the Griswolds, and make your own luck blog on being Preggers!!!!!! So exciting.

I also have a lot of ladies doing FET and IUI's this month. Good luck to you all!!

Passing Time

The 26th couldn't get here soon enough! This is making me a little nutty to say the least. I have been trying to occupy myself with as much as possible. I picked up last Sunday at work and again this Sunday. Work helps pass the time and keeps my mind off of babies and what not. I go in on Monday for a progesterone check. I'm also having problems with the estrogen patches I'm on. So I will have them check that out to. I have blisters under each one of the patches (4). I change them every 3 1/2 days and when I change them I put them in different spots to keep from irritation. A lot of help that did. It's pretty gross to say the least. I have scabs all over my stomach. :( Hopefully its nothing serious. I'll keep you all informed.

In other news, this is Mark and I's first Thanksgiving away from home. It's a little sad but we are going to make the best of it. I am cooking lots of stuff and getting a honey baked ham! I plan on making sweet potato casserole, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and possibly a few more things. We are inviting a few friends over that don't have family here as well. So at least we will have some company. I wish I could be home with family but at least I have my hubby! I really wanted to see my new Nieces. :( they will be 3 months old before I see them for the first time. I'm a little jealous. Hopefully I will be pregnant the next time I see everyone (Christmas).

I have been going over baby names lately. Ok, who am i kidding I have been for a long time now but I'm starting to narrow it down now! I have a little list going :) I still haven't found the "that's the one!" one though. If you have suggestions please put them in the comment box. I know women get so protective over "their names" but hey, are we really ever going to meet in person? I'm going to share mine! So here it goes......
Girl Boy
-----------------------
Riley Jackson
Emma Chase
Brooklyn Max
Sidney Bentley
Amelia Isaac

For middle names I plan on using Ann (after my mom and grandma) and either Mark or Jonathan for a boy middle name.

I can't tell you how excited I am that this is finally happening. I feel like it has been wait wait wait!! I am so close I can taste it! I know there is a possibility of it not working (and trust me I can't stop thinking about that). I often find myself planning my next move. How are we going to get the money, what if we move again, when will my body be able to do it again and can it? These things are constantly circling in my little noggin! It never stops. Even if we do get a pregnancy this time it may not be a viable one. I may miscarry after a few weeks and possibly after a few months. This whole process is exhausting and overwhelming filled with uncertainties and excitement and sadness. Ok I better stop before my hormones kick in an the water works start! Haha

I hope everyone has a wonderful week and especially a wonderful Thanksgiving.

What not to say!

There are a few things you just don't say to an infertile. Today someone told me your young you'll get pregnant sooner or later. You have plenty of time. WHAT?!?!? REALLY?!? I know you didn't just say that. I was a little taken back by this comment. I thought to myself, obviously this person is ignorant and just has no clue how it feels to not be able to get pregnant. She smirked and said just be patient. Patient? How long do you have to wait for you to be considered to have been patient long enough? I had to bite my tongue and just smile.

I decided to make a little list of things not to say while at work because I was obviously a little disturbed and angry. If for some reason you stumble upon my blog and you are a fertile then please take a moment to read. If you are an infertile and would like to add something feel free to do so in the comments.

1) A fertile should never say "why do you want kids" unless of course you want to be punched by a raging estrogen driven female.

2) One should never offer their own children to the infertile. This is highly inappropriate and you may end up with a visit from division of family services depending on how much you pissed the infertile off!

3) Just because someone is still in their 20's does not mean their desire to have children isn't as strong as an infertile in their 30's or 40's. so don't say, "you have time"!!!

4) "As soon as you stop trying you will get pregnant" Really? That's all I can say to that one.

5) Adopt, there are so many kids with out a family! As adoption may be a great solution to some couples it is not for everyone. It takes a lot of thought and time to come to this decision. And only the couple can make it. Do you really think it hasn't crossed their mind already? Come on!

6) Do NOT come to an infertile and tell them how stressed you are about your own kids! It's just Rude to say the least.

7)"Maybe your doing it wrong"....................... Ummm! Ok would you like to tell me what I'm doing wrong please because I'm dying to know your tricks of the trade, not!

8) "Maybe you weren't meant to have kids" OMG those are fighting words right there. Do you really want a black eye?!?

9) Pray! I believe highly in prayer. In fact I pray every night. But as you can tell it hasn't worked yet. Although I have been blessed with a lot of other things. A child is not one...yet! Plus I don't believe one should ever push prayer on another person. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs!

10) It will happen, just be patient. NO!!!! It won't JUST happen. It hasn't yet and I'm pretty sure it won't happen without medical help. Although miracles do happen I guess.

Every infertility case is different. Some are male factor. Some female and (in my case) some are both. Some times it is unexplained infertility. Regardless of the reason they are in pain from this struggle. So please if you are a fertile remember this post and be considerate.

That is all for tonight! Thanks

Wait some more!

Today was my ultrasound to check my lining. It was 9.98!!! That's good if you didn't know. My doctor brought me into his office after the ultrasound to talk. He said that he won't transfer 2 embryos. I was like why not? He said because of a few reasons, 1 you are so young (my youngest patient right now) and the success rate for your age is really high, 2 I am worried about how your body will respond with twins. He didn't think I would have a healthy pregnancy. After a little back and forth talk I decided to trust him and his confidence and only transfer one. I really hope he is right.

After our talk the nurse came Ina nd said how does the 26th sound? I said sounds like a long ways away, can't we do it sooner? Nope! She said that was the earliest appointment they had. Wonderful! Now I have to wait 17 more days to transfer. I also have to stay on the estrogen patches until my first pregnancy test! God give me strength! No it's the waiting game, again.

Here are a few of my symptoms from the past week. Most evenings I have trouble keeping my eyes open past 8:30, I have gained 4 pounds, my body aches and the hot flashes are almost unbearable!!! I'll be so glad when I can stop this estrogen. Last night was particularly bad. Mark and I were having a tiny tiny disagreement and BOOM!!! It hits me! I start bawling my eyes out. Like cant breathe or talk historically crying. I think I freaked Mark out! Lol poor guy didn't know what hit him. This crying lasted a long time. My eyes are still puffy today. I don't think Mark will be starting any arguments any time soon hahahaha!

Update....

I went in yesterday for our baseline appointment. They took blood and did an ultrasound. Both my ovaries were clear and my lining was 5.8!!! We want it to be between 8-10 for the transfer. They increased my estrogen patches from 2 to 4. Not excited about that. They make me really sleepy and having double the dose from before I am sooooooo tired!

Anyway, my next appointment is on Friday morning. They will check my lining again and if I'm ready then we will schedule my transfer date. My guess is that I will transfer on the 16th. After my lining is ready I will have to be on progesterone shots for 5 days before we can transfer. (Progesterone shots are in the rear and hurt like hell)

On another note Mark left this morning for Chicago and will be back at the end of the week. He is kinda lucky I think. I wouldn't want to be around me during this time!! I'm a little cranky these days :-) lol.

If you know me personally you know that I have a thing for giraffes!! This seemed fitting.

Finally November is here!

Well today was the first day of our frozen embryo transfer cycle!!!!!!!! Sooooo exciting! I put on my first estrogen patches this morning. They kinda itch a little but nothing I can't handle :) I have an appointment set up for Saturday at 8:30 to have an ultrasound and blood work. They are basically just checking to make sure all my "stuff" looks good. Fingers crossed! If everything looks good then I will have another appointment in a week to check my lining. If its not thick enough we wait a little longer until it is. When it is thick enough we can schedule the transfer date. I'm not sure how long it takes to thaw our little embryos. I think a few days. So if all goes as planned (that rarely ever happens for me) we will be transferring in 2-3 weeks from now!!!!!!!!!

Since my last post I started my new job and we celebrated Halloween! My new job is going well. The people I work with are great. I feel at home there. As for Halloween.... I was a little disappointed that I only got 4 trick or treaters. I love this Holliday so I had my pumpkins lit and ready and Dakota even had his costume on! I have ALOT of extra candy now. Not a good thing, as I like to sleep eat :-/ I wake up with chocolate in my teeth and wrappers On the floor. Lol

I'll update everyone more on Saturday or Sunday.